having a baby changes everything.

Have you ever seen those commercials, the Johnson&Johnson one's, they show the baby laughing and playing and end with the quote "having a baby changes everything"? They're not exaggerating, having a baby really does change everything. Last night my best friends from high school, and probably the best friends I've ever had in my life, went bar hopping in Charlotte. Yes, they asked me to go...I wasn't left out just because I have a baby, but for some reason I excluded myself....and I'm still not sure why. It could be because all through high school I was that person judging teenage mothers, not the good one's that took responsibility for their baby because trust me I know some fantastic teenager mothers, but it was the one's that seemed like they were always going out with their friends or doing things for themselves, like they never even had their baby with them. I know it wasn't my business, but you can't say that you haven't judged those girls too, at least once. Having a baby and being a teenage mother though makes you realize something, everyone needs a break every now and then. I can't say that sometimes I don't want just one night of uninterrupted sleep, or that just one night I want to go out and be with my friends just like high school, but to me...it's not worth it, not yet. When I'm not with Cash, I constantly feel like I'm missing something. I don't like being away from him; however, that may change once he's older and I have to chase him around constantly, haha, but honestly they grow up too fast and I don't want to miss a single second with him. I'm not saying Tyler and I don't take a break every now and then. 
We have a fantastic support system 
and Cash has way too many family members that love and fight over him constantly, which has been a big help thus far.We always have babysitters when we need them, and we use them on occasion. Let's get back to the bar thing though. I'm not saying one day I won't go out and take a break, I'm just saying I don't know if I'm ready yet, not to mention last night was mine and Ty's 20 months and I honestly just wanted to spend time with him. Yeah we live together and I see him every night, but once you have a baby you understand there's no such thing as just spending time together. We've quickly become an old married couple without even being married. I'm not even exaggerating, with this time change Cash has been going to bed an hour earlier, which means Tyler and I are in bed by 9:30.....no joke. I'm telling you, having a baby changes everything. I'm not sure if my friends quite understand that though. I don't think they understand how exhausting this actually is. 

 Honestly though, you can't understand it until you actually experience it. They're great though, through all this people have shown their true colors. I've lost a lot of friends, as well as gained some. I'm not saying I had a lot of friends in high school because I didn't....honestly, I hate girls, therefore the few girl friends I have mean a whole lot to me. The last few months though have been different. In high school I spent every weekend with the same group of people doing dumb stuff and having way too much fun, and half those people I don't even hear from anymore. It's sad knowing people  stop talking to you just because you can't provide them with a party house, or go out and act like a teenager every night, but it's life. It's really helped me to see who's real and who's not. I still get occasional text messages from everyone, or facebook comments, but it's nothing like the way it used to be. I'm fine with that though, I've come to the conclusion that I'm just at a different point in my life than all my friends, but I'm happy with my place in life. 

I still love my girls and miss spending time with them, but I love Cash and I love being home all the time to be his mommy. I don't wish things were different, and I don't wish I was at CofC partying, which is where I would've been had we not been so blessed to have Cash. I'm glad things worked out the way they did, and hearing that sweet baby laugh and seeing his crooked smile makes me 100% certain I wouldn't change a thing. He's absolutely perfect and I love being his mommy, even if it means losing a few friends along the way. Sorry this blog's not as interesting as the last one, just needed to get my thoughts/feelings down. Maybe next time I blog I'll have more exciting stories for you considering we have a busy weekend ahead of us!